Boy that “flu”…or whatever it was…knocked me on my ass last night. I came home, ate, changed clothes, and laid down on the couch. I had every intention of watching some TV with Mr. Universe…but that lasted all of about 30 minutes before I had to give in.
As much as I wanted to stay awake…to be present and a part of the evening…I couldn’t. And I think that was the point of getting sick.
For a week, I’d experienced a slower way of life…a quieter existence…and I’d told myself I was going to slow down when I got home. But old habits are hard to break…and we did just open a new business.
I felt pressure to do more…to complete the outstanding tasks…to want to focus all my energy into growing nesha…but I had stuff at home that needed attention too. So there I sat with a laundry list of to dos and my intention to slow down becoming weaker by the minute.
So what happens? I get sick. Nothing will force me to slow down quite like coming down with something. And when I’m sick, I sleep. And that was the point. All those “things” will wait.
A list exists for a reason. It contains all the things you want to do but aren’t enough of a priority to actually do when you think of them. I write them down so I don’t have to expend the mental energy to remember them…but I need to be better about giving myself permission to get to them when I get to them…and to stop worrying about it.
I need to do a better job of giving myself permission to move at a pace that feels good to my body. At a pace that allows me to do the things I want to do to take care of myself…so that I have the energy and mental capacity to do the things I need to do.
I started to freak out this morning at the lack of clients on my schedule. Then I paused…and instead decided to focus on the fact that nesha is launched. (Big deal, people!) The name is out there. The intention is out there. And I’m going to use the time I have now while I wait for things to percolate to take care of myself and the things I need to at home.
Because I know at some point, I’m going to be busy. 🙂