Last night was rough. . . in a good way. . I think.
From 12:30 - 4:30am I was shown snapshots & vignettes of lessons I'm still uncovering & how I'm still operating out of old unconscious conditioning.
I woke early & exhausted but went to the gym anyway. I needed to move.
When I worked in Corporate America I HAD to go to yoga nearly every day to stay sane. #forrealtho
My mat was the only place I could begin to shift the level of professional & personal intensity I existed in. Where I could begin to find balance & connect to myself.
A dear friend & fellow yogi who used to practice next to me told me years later that I used to look like I was exorcising demons. Ummmm, little did he know. . . that's exactly what I was doing.
I felt that today.
The focus & level of intensity came from a deep place. It felt almost primal. I was again exorcising demons.
I experienced the sensation that something deep within me was being torn down & pushed through on an energetic & emotional plane as I used my body to push weight in the physical plane.
I could feel the tears just below the surface but it wasn't sadness. It was a deep desire to survive. . . to emerge. . . to transform. The tears, appreciation & gratitude for the new awareness coupled with battle fatigue. #thestruggleisreal
Exercising is one of the ways I try to keep energy & emotions from stagnating in my body. It's one of the primary ways I try to stay grounded & clear.
But it's also how I build strength. . . physical, mental, emotional & energetic.
There's something about pushing myself that instills the feeling that anything is possible. . . that nothing will break me.
"i am not fully healed
i am not fully wise
i am still on my way
what matters is that
I am moving forward"
- yung pueblo, Inward