This is me. No make up. . . glasses. . . sporting my fave @alldaydarlingasheville tank & my fave #mrrogers sweater. . . sitting in my office.
This is where I dream about the future & take steps to make it happen.
This is where I talk to clients about their hopes for the future & how they can make it happen.
This is where I create playlists for #breathwork experiences to build the energy to facilitate #breakthroughs.
And. . .
This is also where I start to panic. . . where I hear the whispers that I'm not good enough. . . where all my past "failures" haunt me. . . where the fear of losing myself (again) rises up & threatens to consume me.
This morning was one of those mornings. I woke up thinking about #money & couldn't shake it.
So instead of forcing myself to stare directly into the fear, I laid down on the floor & started #breathing.
In less than 20 mins I felt the source of my fear.
I saw it clear as day. I saw myself reaching outside of myself for comfort. . . stability. . . security. . . love.
It's an old program that's ingrained so fucking deep. A program that likes to sneak up & kidnap my #confidence when I'm not looking.
Then I heard. . .
"It's not out here, it's all in you." 💗
It's not out here, it's all in you.
In Human Design, I have an undefined heart & no gates. I'm wide the fuck open!
And while that might sound like a good thing, in this system it means that I don't innately know my own value.
So I seek external validation. . . approval. . . value. . . worth.
Of course. . . because in #Cardology, I'm a #diamond & diamonds are motivated by value. Is it worth my time, energy, money?
So I'm constantly seeking to find my own value. . . outside myself. Oh boy. . .
As with all systems though (#astrology #numerology #cardology #humandesign #genekeys, etc), they simply serve as guides. . . roadmaps to help us discover where we need to grow.
So knowing. . . f e e l i n g. . . my value is my work. It's where I need to grow.
And breathwork is how I hit #reset. . . clear the cached #programming. . . #reconnect to myself.
It's how I reconnect to the me that sits below the #systems & the #conditioning & the #wounding.
And now, back to work.